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Warning: If you do not like the darkest side of Spike or character deaths, fly away little butterfly. For, as the title states, everyone dies, some horribly.
Spike spent the rest of the night and the next day reading Giles’ personal diaries. He got to know the Watcher better then anyone ever had or would. Plus, many keys to Buffy’s personality were nicely spelled out for him.
Finally growing bored with this, he turned to study Buffy’s personal dairies. He learned how she fought, all her secrets, and about the lives of her friends. When this grew old, he located the official Watchers’ journals. “Someone will pay good money for all this inside stuff.” He was pleased to find all passages related to him marked with narrow little slips of sticky notes. He located a red pen and added corrections and embellishments to some books even older than he was. Snickering to himself, he penned in rude statements about his grandsire and one-time partner of evil, Angelus.
Around three, the phone rang again. It was Xander. “Hi Giles, I guess you went to the store. I’ll see you at five.”
Spike found a pen and notepad in Giles’ desk, took the grocery list from the kitchen, produced a note in a reasonable copy of the man’s handwriting, and taped it to the unlocked front door. ‘Xander, I will be right back. Giles,” It read. Forgery was a handy skill for a vampire. He quickly moved around the apartment making it British-bachelor neat again. He stacked all the journals and dairies on the coffee table. Then he just had to sit back and wait.
Right on time, Spike heard Xander outside. The boy paused, no doubt reading the note, then bounced right in. When he saw Spike, he froze and dropped his toolbox. “Hello, Wanker,” Spike said without looking up from the journal he was reading.
Holy Shit! It’s Spike! “What… what are you doing here? I thought Buffy ran you off.”
“Research. Watcher offered me cash for information.” Spike shrugged and put his feet up on the coffee table. “A vamp has to buy beer and smokes somehow.”
“But you… and… Where’s Giles?”
“Oh, he tottled off to get some spice or something for dinner. Said he wouldn’t be long.”
Xander took a cautious look around the apartment, grabbing a stake off a shelf first thing. Spike was glad he had taken the time to stuff the Watcher in the closet. Ingredients for pasta were laid out in the kitchen. The young man eventually came back and sat as far away from Spike as he could.
Xander glowered at the vampire as he tried to figure out his angle. “What kind of information could you have he would want, dead man?”
Spike looked up over the top of his book and waved at the pile of dairies. “I was there, Mate. I’m living history. I’ve killed two Slayers. There’re very few witnesses to Slayer’s deaths.”
“Oh.” Xander sat back a little in his chair, clutching the stake, staring at Spike as if daring him to try something, with his foot is bouncing nervously. I guess it is possible. Having an interview with a vampire may get him back in good with the council. I know Giles has been lonely, like me, but Spike…Xander looked over the lanky form of Spike where he was comfortably sprawled in the chair, holding a worn dairy before him. He was slouched down with one booted foot on the table, and the other on the floor, his legs open. Xander quickly looked back to the chipped polish on Spike’s nails. But this jerk is evil! He threatened Willow! Maybe he’s hypnotized Giles. He could, I bet, with those so blue eyes of his… He hurt Giles, he hurt me! Maybe I should just kill him for Giles. Giles would be proud of me. He will decide we can both get a nicer apartment if we share expenses. A little smile reached his lips and his eyes slid off the vampire to stare into the distance.
“I think a lot of these Watchers were gay,” Spike suddenly broke in, not looking at Xander, but hearing his heart speed up. “It makes sense. All the Slayers are young, healthy girls. You wouldn’t want to leave them in care of potential pedophiles.”
“Giles is not gay!” Xander said defensively. What does he know?
Spike looked up at him, eyebrow raised. “Are you sure?” Xander looked away. “Have you seen him with any girlfriends?”
“He was interested in Miss. Calendar.”
“Oh yeah, the gypsy teacher Angelus killed. Nice bit of work, that.”
“They were in love.”
“Right. Does he dress or, pffft, decorate like a normal man?” Spike indicated the neat, tastefully decorated apartment.
“He’s British! He’s just… tidy.”
Spike looked offended. “I’m British and I’m not that tidy.”
“You’re a soulless fiend! You live in crypts!”
“Point taken. But look, the man likes to cook. He was boring me with the recipe he’s going to make tonight.” Spike dropped his foot and leaned forward in a conspiratorial way. “I think maybe he’s invented this little job for me just so he can get me over here.” Spike let this sink in. “Plus, his heart speeds up when he looks at me.”
“He’s afraid of you!” Xander was hurt, confused, then threatened in a new way. Giles and Spike? No. Wrong!
“Then why did he invite me into his home?”
Xander burst out of his chair and started to pace. “I don’t know! Where did he go? Shouldn’t he be back by now?”
Spike put aside the book and leaned back in the chair, his hands behind his head. “I’ll tell you something else.”
Xander rounded on him and glared. “What?”
“His heart speeds up when he talks about you, too.”
Xander’s eyes grew wide and his face reddened. It does? Giles and me? Wait… He held the stake to strike and moved toward Spike. “You’re making this up. You just want to make me mad.”
Spike looked at him sidelong, but made no move to get away. “The red book, there.” Spike nudged one of Giles’ private dairies with his foot. “I don’t think it’s meant to be in with the others. Read May 10th, if you don’t believe me.”
Xander snatched up the book and retreated away from the vampire. He thumbed through and found the worn page. Spike had discovered a passage describing Xander in a swim meet at the high school. The Watcher described the way wet, almost naked Xander moved in great detail. A wicked grin spread over Spike’s face as he watched the boy’s life falling to pieces before him. I remember that day. I was focused on Cordelia at the time, If only I had known…
“So it’s true then,” Spike said in a low voice after Xander read the passage twice. “You like him, too.”
“I’m not gay,” Xander answered quietly in an automatic way.
“So what if you are? I like men, too. Women, men, demons. It’s all the same.”
Xander leapt to his feet, leaving stake and book behind and started pacing. “Shut up!”
“It’s just what society says. Society is often wrong.” Spike sat up in the chair, ready to move, but Xander did not notice. “Do you like all men, or just men with accents? ‘Cause after reading that book, I want to see you with your shirt off, too.”
Xander grabbed up the diary and started flipping through it. “I bet that’s the only thing like that in all his books.”
“Look at Halloween the same year.” Spike watched with a smirk as Xander read Giles’ journal entry that mostly focused on the boy’s bare arms in a sleeveless military t-shirt. “Young, strong muscles…”
Tears streaming down his face, Xander threw down the book and launched himself at the vampire, clutching barehanded. “SHUT UP!” he roared. Of all people to delve into my secrets, why Spike?
Spike easily deflected the attack, moving toward the front door to give himself more room. “Ah, foreplay!” Spike teased.
Xander came at him again. This time, Spike grabbed him in a headlock.
“Let me go! Where’s Giles?”
“Are you in that big a hurry to declare your love?”
“No! I don’t love Giles like that!” I do! I do! And I could fuck you, too!
Spike breathed in Xander’s ear. “Admit it, pet. Face up to it and I’ll let you go.”
“No!” Xander struggled against Spike’s vampire strength.
Spike squeezed a little harder. “Last chance.”
Xander went limp, tears streaming down his face and landing hot on Spike’s arm. “No. I… I can’t.” Daddy would beat me until I was dead if anyone knew.
“You can’t any way. I’ve killed him.”
Xander surged like he had been hit with electricity. “No! I’ll kill you! You bastard!”
“You taste better when you struggle.” Spike shook his head and his handsome features morph to the demon’s. He sank his fangs in the soft flesh of Xander’s throat. Spike fed until Xander stopped fighting, and his hands slid off his arm. You could have asked. Then he turned the boy around, looking him in the eye, and holding him up. Xander glared at him, weak though he was.
“I tell you what, Xander. I like you. If you want to join me in my life, here’s your opportunity. You can live forever. You can play all night and fuck all day. You can have the powers your other friends already have. You’ll be strong, quick, and damned hard to kill. Wonderful in a fight.” Xander just stared weakly at the handsome man before him. Spike smiled softly and shrugged. “As it is, your life is less than nothing. You live in your abusive parent’s basement. You can’t keep a job more than two weeks. All your friends have moved on, leaving you to a life of working toward a ten-year badge at the DoubleMeat Palace. You live in denial about being gay. And, if you’ve had sex more than twice with anyone other than yourself, I’d be amazed.” Spike set the boy against the wall, unbuttoned his own jeans, pulled out his cock, and worked it until it was hard. Then he ran his thumbnail along its length, leaving a seeping scratch. He stepped up to the woozy Xander. “I don’t make this offer lightly. If you want to join me, if you want everything you have been denied, drink.” Spike stood still, holding his cock at an angle in front of the young man’s face. A drop of blood dripped off the tip.
Xander looked up at him, fading. “Or?” he managed to choke.
“If you do not drink my blood within the next two minutes, you’ll bleed enough that you’ll die unturned. Then I’ll feed some more and go on about my existence without you.” He tilted his head to one side. “You have nothing to loose. So drink. Join me.”
Xander looked up at him a minute more; barely able to hold his eyes open, then he looked down. Before him, embodied in one hard, bloodied penis was everything he had always wanted. He’s right. The grinning idiot is right. If I wasn’t such a coward I would’ve killed myself long ago. I’m not going anywhere. If it weren’t for Giles helping me out, I couldn’t even pay rent in my own parent’s basement. Giles! My god! What could have been! Xander looked up at Spike. I can let him turn me, then I’ll kill him for killing Giles! Buffy and Willow tolerate Spike, why wouldn’t they tolerate me? Then I can fight beside them, not get hurt all the time. Then with a sigh of surrender, of admitting everything he had wanted, he leaned forward and took Spike’s hard cock in his mouth. Spike held him up as the boy awkwardly sucked in the vampire’s cock and swallowed his blood.
When he had drunk enough, Spike pushed the boy off him, and Xander slumped against the wall. As he watched the life fade from Xander’s eyes, Spike masturbated, splattering his childe with cum.
“Do you know where I was before you, pet?” Spike asked as he tucked himself away and fixed his clothing. “I bet you’ve never tasted a woman before.” Then he pulled out his pocketknife, cut the bloodstained collar from Xander’s loud Hawaiian shirt, and added it to his trophy bag.
Spike considered the dark-haired ex-young man before him. “If you’re going to hang out with me, you have to dress better than that.” Taking the stairs two at a time, Spike went up the bedroom and opened the closet. “Excuse me, Giles. I just thought you would like to know you can safely come out of the closet.” He laughed at his own joke as he dragged the corpse out of his way. “It turns out you could’ve approached your boy long ago. It would’ve saved you both a lot of loneliness.” Luckily for Spike, the Englishman and the boy were much the same build. He found an outfit of dark clothing and changed Xander out of his tacky Hawaiian shirt and baggy shorts.
Spike gathered a select few of the dairies, making sure he had all of Buffy’s. He packed Giles’ address book of Watcher contacts and the money he found in the satchel. He shouldered this, picked up Xander’s toolbox, and walked out the front door. He took these items to his car as if he lived there, casually looking around as he did so. As usual, the place was quiet. He returned to the apartment and picked up Xander’s limp body. He took a last look around to make sure all lights were off and left, locking the door behind him. “Poor poof had no social life. He’ll keep a while.”
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