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Coercion 19

To A Friend

Willow was gone when Spike got back, and the only light on was the reading light by the bed. Xander looked up from his book when Spike came in.

“I was hoping you’d come back before… Oh my god, what happened?” Xander leapt out of bed and helped Spike take off his coat.

“Buffy happened,” Spike said through gritted teeth.

“Damn, Spike. What did you do?” Xander helped Spike sit down.

“Nothing,” Spike gritted, sinking down to recline on the chair. “She just thought I was.” Xander hovered, not knowing what to do. “Quit fussing, pet and fetch me some blood. I got a bag of human in there, I think.”

As Xander found the bag and poured it in a mug, Spike took inventory. Two, maybe three cracked ribs. Loose tooth. Lots of bruises.

“Here,” Xander said, making sure Spike had the mug with both hands before letting go. He sat on the end of the bed, facing Spike. When Spike had drained the cup, Xander put it aside. “So, what did she think you were doing?”

Spike closed his eyes again and cursed to himself. He could loose the boy right here. On the other hand, if he didn’t tell him the truth, he’d hear some distorted version from Buffy. He sighed, and immediately decided to breathe as little as possible. Spike opened his eyes a crack and looked down at Xander. “Just promise me this, pet. If you’re going to kick me out, do it as soon as you can so I can limp to a hole before daybreak.”

“Um, okay.”

Spike closed his eyes again, not being able to face those chocolate pools of sincerity. “She thought I was raping a girl. It was a fledge, a vamp, and she was enjoying herself. I always take care of the girls. I knew we were about to fool around and I was all worked up, Pet. I had to... had to do something. She didn’t mean anything. Buffy came along and, well, dusted the fledge, then beat the shit out of me for laughs. Even after I told her what was going on.” Spike waited for the blow or the word from Xander. When Xander got up after a minute’s stillness, Spike opened his eyes.

He watched as Xander went over to the fridge and leaned against it for a full five minutes before opening it. Silently, he got out a Styrofoam deli container and put it in the microwave. He kept his back turned until the device dinged. Carefully, he brought the container to Spike and again helped him  take hold of it.

Xander didn’t look at Spike as he drank, but sat on the bed. “Willow brought snacks for both of us. Oz told her about us and she’s cool with it. So’s Tara.” Spike finished the pig’s blood, Xander took the container and threw it away. “I understand what you did,” he said quietly. “I… I’ve had days I’d do the same if I could.” Xander met Spike’s worried eyes. “You’re a vampire. It’s your nature. Why wait for me to re-orient my sexuality when you can get any you want?”

“Xander, it’s not…”

“It is. I know that. You’ve got so much… sex in you… in your body, you can’t keep it penned. I know that. I've read Giles' books, Spike. I bet I know more about vampires than Buffy does. As long as you don’t hurt anybody, and I know you can’t, I don’t care.”

Spike looked wonderingly at this boy who just kept surprising him. “I don’t want anybody else right now, Xander. Not sure why, to be honest. But tonight…”

“It was fuck or kill. If you hadn’t found something to fuck, you would have found something to kill, am I right?” Spike nodded. “Cool. We're not exclusive. Hell, I don't know what we are. You need anything else? That’s all the blood. I’ll get you more tomorrow. Do you need your ribs wrapped?”

Spike smiled. “I think it’s best if I don’t move at all for a while.” He laid his head back on the chair.

Xander picked up an extra blanket and put it over Spike, knowing he liked to stay warm. Then he climbed back on the bed where he’d been. After a while he ventured a question. “Buffy did all that?”

“Yep. Cornered me, wouldn’t stop until she’d goaded me enough that I set off the chip. I think she’s got problems.”

“I think she does, too.” Spike listened as Xander picked up his book and turned pages. “Hey, Spike?”

“Yeah, Pet?” Spike wanted to sleep and heal, but the boy had let him stay  and had shown a surprising amount of insight and understanding.

“Can I read you a poem, Spike?”

“I’d like that, Pet.”

“It’s by Grace Stricker Dawson. It’s called To a Friend.” Spike could sense Xander’s blush.

You entered my life in a casual way
and saw at a glance, what I needed
There were others who passed me or met me each day
But never a one of them heeded.
Perhaps you were thinking of other folks more
Or chance simply seemed to decree it;
I know there were many chances before,
But the others, well they didn’t see it.

You said just the thing that I wished you would say
and you made me believe that you meant it;
I held up my head in the old gallant way
and resolved you should never repent it.
There are times when encouragement means such a lot
and a word is enough to convey it,
There were others who could have, as easy as not -
but, just the same, they didn’t say it.

There may have been someone who could have done more
To help me along, though I doubt it;
What I needed was cheering, and always before
They had let me plod onward without it.
You helped to refashion the dream of my heart,
And made me turn eagerly to it;
There were others who might have (I question that part)
But, after all, they didn’t do it.

Xander noticed Spike’s smile as the vamp fell asleep.  

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