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"R" Rated


 1980. Some Big City, USA

Spike did not know where Drusilla had gotten off to. Sometimes in a new city she liked to go off by herself and bring things back to show him. This evening it was fine by him. He had convinced her they were better off spending some of their hard-stolen cash on a posh hotel room. Once in a while, Spike liked to live the high life, kick back in a clean, comfortable chair and watch porn on cable for hours. The vampires spent enough time hiding out in dives and hunting in stench-filled back alleys.

Close enough to sun-up to make him nervous, there was a kick at the door. Spike opened it to find Dru, love of his life, holding two big shopping bags in her arms with two more hanging from the crooks of her elbows.

“Done some shopping, Pet?” He tried to reach for the bags, but she pirouetted past him and ran into the bedroom, laughing. Shaking his head, he made sure the ‘do not disturb’ sign was out, closed and locked the door before following her.

He walked in the bedroom to see his evil love upending one of the bags on the floor next to the bed. There was a flood of bright colors and heavy shapes. Some objects thudded and others rolled away. He looked from the pile to her in delight. “What kind of wonderful shop did you find, my sweet?”

Dru giggled insanely and added the contents of  the other bags to her pile. “It flashed to me, Spike. Neon squiggles calling out naughty words.” She did a bump-and-grind to accompany her own sing-song voice. ‘Sex!’ they flashed! ‘Flesh!’ they blinked! ‘X-X-X’ they screamed! The nice boy helped me shop.”

“Did he now? And what did he think a sweet little lady like you would need with all this?” Spike put his arms around her and they studied the candy-colored pile.

“I told him it was for a party. That I was up to tricks. Said I had a friend I could embarrass right nicely. He helped me get one of each color.” Her voice dropped to a whisper, “and size.” She licked a finger, “and he was tasty. He tasted like cloves and onions…”

Spike’s grin was as wicked as hers. “So where’s the party?”

Dru switched from elated to pouty in a heartbeat. “It’s here, my Sweet William. It’s us!”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, my black princess.”

Dru wheeled out of his arms and snarled at him. “You don’t know the occasion. Miss. Edith remembered, but you didn’t.”

Spike was used to her mood swings. “Now, Luv, how often do I see a calendar? Remind me, please, baby?”

Dru pouted, but gave in. “Well, I’ve gotten the party favors, may as well have the party.”

Spike kneeled before her and took her hand, knowing how much she liked to be treated like royalty. “I await each sweet enlightened word which drops from your ruby lips.”

She drew him up into her arms, snaked a hand  down to his crotch, and squeezed him a little with each word. “It’s… your… birthday.”

“It’s not May, Pet.”

“No,” she laughed. “You’re a bad dog. It’s the day I gave birth to you. One hundred years!”

Spike paused thought about it. “You’re right!” He swept her up in his arms and spun them around until both were a little dizzy. “One hundred years, my dearest. And still you delight me.” He kissed her deeply. “It’s also our anniversary. I remember you coming to me in that alley. Yours is the face of my salvation.” He twined his fingers in her lush black hair and pulled her head back. “You drank from me that day and you chose me as your champion.” He started to bite at her throat, but she pushed him away.

“Not yet, not yet. We have toys!” She danced back to the pile and began opening packages and sorting by size. Spike threw himself across the bed and watched her. “We have to start small,” she said, holding up a red object not much thicker than a finger. “and we work up to…” she pointed at a huge black one shaped like a clenched fist.

Spike looked at all the phallic objects and put on a pretend pout. “Do you tire of me, baby? You crave variety?”

Dru tossed back her head and laughed one of her crazy, deep throated laughs. She left off her sorting and crawled over to him. “They’re not for me…”

Spike’s eyes widened, and he felt himself growing hard. “A hundred years, Luv, and you still find new ways to hurt me.”

Note: No, I don't know when William's birthday was. It just sounded good. 

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