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Summer seasons 4/5   

A parody.

If Buffy isn’t the perfect woman for Spike, who is?

A Mary Sue character is a perfected version of the writer. Those of you who know me laugh all you want. 

Rated R

Mary Sue Wisteria

It started out as yet another patrol for Buffy, her mind wandering to Riley and then away again. She sighed at herself. I should be excited about tonight. I mean, a hot handsome man waiting just for me… He’ll undress me slowly and kiss my… Hey. I never noticed the cherub on that tombstone before! He’s cute! Holding his little lily. You know, I think there is one just like it over in Restfield. Twelve cemeteries and I know them all. What was I thinking about? Oh, yeah. Riley. He’s just so strong, sweet and… normal.

Buffy was drawn out of her reverie by the sound of a woman crying. Hefting a stake, Buffy followed the sound to find a woman with long brown hair sitting on the ground, facing a tombstone over a disrupted grave. Buffy’s Slayer senses told her she was a vampire, although new vamps did not normally act like this.

“Hey,” Buffy read the tombstone, “Mary Sue?”

The woman looked up through her tears. “It’s just Mary.”

“Okay, Mary. What’s wrong? I mean, apart from just having woken up in a grave and dug your way out?”

“I’m a vampire, aren’t I?” 

“That’s the main situation.” Buffy sat on a nearby stone but kept the stake in hand. 

Mary took a closer look at Buffy. “I know you. You’re always coming and going from the Magic Box. I work… er… worked next door at the bookstore.” 

“Oh? I’m Buffy Summers.”

“Nice to meet you. How do you know what happened to me? I wasn’t even sure.”

“I’m the vampire Slayer. It’s my calling.”

“Really? Cool. I always thought you guys kept weird hours. The place got busted up a lot, and one time I thought I saw a troll…”

“Welcome to Sunnydale.”

“I’ve been here five years. I’ve always been careful. But I guess I was in the wrong place wrong time. Plus, my glasses are broken.”

“I don’t think you need them anymore. At least, I’ve only seen one or two vamps wearing glasses. Ever.”

“Are you going to kill me?”

Buffy studied her. “Are you going to try to kill me?”

“Well, you smell really good and I’m hungry, but no. I don’t want to hurt anybody.”

“You don’t feel bad to me, so as long as you don’t kill anyone, I’m cool.”

“So… what now?”

Buffy considered. “I know someone you should meet. He knows even more about what’s going on with you than I do, and I think you might be a good influence on him."

“Is this a job?”

“Sort of. Come on.”

Buffy led the woman through town toward another cemetery. On the way they passed a crowd of teenagers as they neared the Bronze.

“Buffy?” Buffy turned to find Mary with her back pressed against the wall and in full demon mode. “I’m so hungry. They smell so… alive. I… I don’t know that I can…”

“Hold on. The butcher’s is around the corner. Wait in the alley here. Don’t do anything. I’ll be right back.”

The plump butcher nodded as one of his regular customers came in. “Hey, Buffy. What can I get for you today?” 

“Two pints of your freshest animal, please.” 

“So what is it, bait or bribe?” 

“It’s… dinner for a friend.”

“So Angel is in town?”

Buffy shot him a Slayer look.

“Okay, sorry I asked. Here ya go.”

Buffy gave the blood to Mary who quickly drained it, then leaned against the wall feeling the new energy surging through her.

“Uh, you may want to… unface before we go on.”


“When a vampire gets all angry or hungry or… attacks, it’s forehead goes all wrinkly and the teeth get all sharp and the eyes go yellow.”

Mary touched her face curiously. “I wish I could see. Is it true I have no reflection?”

“Yep. Oh, but you can be photographed.”

Mary concentrated and shook her head. “Am I normal again?”

“Sure are. It’s funny, a lot of vamps shake off the game face. I wonder why?”

“It just felt right.”

When they reached Spike’s crypt, Buffy forced open the door as was her habit.

“Hello, Slayer,” Spike drawled, drawing himself up out of his chair. “Trying to catch me naked again?”

“There’s someone I want you to meet.”

Spike eyed the brunette. “Have you brought me dinner?”

“Um, no. Mary here is new. Apparently she was sired and left. She needs someone to look after her.”

“So now I’m…” He squinted at the woman. “I know you. From the bookstore.”

"Mr. Blooden?” she answered. “I wondered about you.”

“But we've never met. You never saw me.”

Mary smiled, “Sure I did. Surveillance cameras.”

Buffy looked puzzled between them. “Huh?”

Mary turned to Buffy. “Mr. William Blooden here would slip notes and money under the back door of the book store. We would order the books and leave them in the back alley. I got curious and  hid a little camera.”

“Tricky. So now you’re one of us and I’m out a contact.”

Mary looked sadly at the floor. “Alan will do it for you. The shop needs the business.”

“Where are my manners?” Spike said, stepping aside.

“I’ve wondered that myself,” muttered Buffy.

Spike shot her a look. “If you would like a seat?” Spike waved Mary in but took Buffy by the arm, drawing her aside. “What’s this about? I have no use for a fledging! Why didn’t you just dust her? ”

Buffy jerked out of his grasp and glared at him. “It didn’t feel right.”

“And bringing her here for me to baby sit does?”

She stood up straight and looked him in the eye. “Yeah. It does. Look, do what you will. Guide her, dust her. It just felt like the right thing to do, and that’s what I operate on, my Slayer intuition.” With that, Buffy turned on her heel and left.

Spike returned to his guest who was perched on the edge of his armchair. “Well,  this is interesting.” He strolled over to her. “What do we do now?”

“I have no idea. I made a stupid mistake and let my guard down. I’ve lived in this cursed town for five years. I’ve lost friends and now, I’ve lost myself. One night of inattention and…” tears started slipping from her big hazel eyes.

Spike hopped up on the sarcophagus lid, lit a cigarette, and studied his guest. She’s pretty enough. I’ve not had a good shag since Harmony left, if you could call her a good shag. Working in a book store she’s bound to be smarter than Harm.  “So who sired you?” he asked after a while.

She sniffed and pulled herself together. “Sired? I… I don’t think anyone did. I was grabbed from behind. He bit me. I started getting dizzy. His hand was over my mouth so I bit him. That’s… that’s the last thing I remember.”

“First off, pet, sired means being made into a vampire. A vamp takes your blood, you take it back. Idiot who bit you left his hand over your mouth. By the by, have you killed?”

She looked horrified at him. “No. I don’t want to do that.”

“So you’re hungry?” Spike flicked aside the butt and stalked over to her. “I can teach you how to hunt right proper. I’ll be your Sire and you can share your kills.”

“No. Buffy bought me some blood at the butchers. And I thought you just said a sire was one who turned you?”

“That’s sire lower case s. Capital Sire is one who guides you, teaches you. You won’t last long without knowing what’s what.” Spike put his hands on the arms of the chair and leaned down to look her in the face. “Don’t you want to hunt, run, and kill?”

He’s powerful. I can feel it. And I somehow know what he’s asking. Mary looked inward. “I do want to explore how I feel now. My senses are so sharp. I feel so… aware. But I don’t want to kill anybody.”

Damn. A pacifist. Buffy’s done this just to tease me. “Are you sure? It’s fun. To chase, catch, and feed. Hot blood, flowing down your throat.”

I do, but it’s wrong. I know it’s the vampire in me urging me to hunt and kill like he says. But I’m still me. I don’t want to hurt anybody. I can drink blood from the butcher’s just fine. “Um… no. I never felt that when alive. I don’t really feel it now. Sorry.” Spike shoved off from the chair and stomped away from her, cursing. “What’s wrong?"

“Buffy brings me a fledge and I can’t even get her to…” Spike saw the hurt look in the girl’s big brown eyes and cut himself off. “There are things I want to do and I was hoping you would help.”

“Sorry. I never was good at much.”

Spike grabbed a bottle of whisky and held it out to her. She shook her head, he shrugged, and took a swig. “I bet you’re good at something,” he leered at her.

I am! You’re so damn handsome! I bet I could fuck you so… She looked away from him, seeking a new topic. He flopped down on the floor with his back to a pillar, contemplating this novel turn in his life. I know there is more to him than being a vampire. I know what he reads. I’ve read his notes. “Can I see… No, it’s silly.”

Spike tilted his head. “See what?”

“Your vampire visage? I think Buffy called it your game face?”

Spike shook his head and went demon. Mary leaned forward, studying him, reached out a tentative hand, and touched his face. She ran her fingers over the ridges, and looked into his yellow eyes. “You’re still… handsome.” Realizing what she said, she pulled away. “I’m sorry.”

“Why? For what?” He found himself drawn to this lost creature. “You’re a vampire now. You don’t apologize. You go, take and do.”

“Can I see your human face again?” Spike grinned and shook off the demon. Mary smiled. “Buffy was wondering why vamps shake off the face.”

“Just do.”

“We’ve not been introduced. I’m Mary Sue Wisteria. Is William Blooden your real name? Cause Buffy called you something else.”

“It was. Now my name is Spike. Has been for a hundred and twenty odd years.”

“You’re that old?”

“Yeah. Now you have a chance to be that old.”

“That’s scary. I can’t even make it through weekends by myself sometimes.”

“It gets easier. There’re so many things you can do you wouldn’t even consider before. The world is wide open. Well, for you.” Spike stood and started pacing. “I don’t completely understand why the Slayer spared you and brought you here.”

“I don’t know, either. She said it felt right. Why has she spared you?”

Spike gave a short laugh. “I’m neutered. Last year, a government installation set up under the college. They captured me, and other creatures of the night, and did nasty things to us. Now I have a chip in my head that keeps me from hurting humans. It amuses the Slayer to keep me around.” He paced faster. “I’m William the Bloody! I cut swathes of terror across continents! I’ve killed two Slayers! Two! Now I can’t even point a gun at a bloody human.”

Mary stood and intercepted his pacing, making him stop short and glare at her. “I just met you, yet I know you. I know you through your choice of books and your notes. You’re an intelligent, articulate, polite, and damn handsome man.” Spike started to protest. “No. I’m a good judge of people and that is who you are at the core.”

Spike grabbed her by the arms, his cheekbones seeming sharper in his anger, and slammed her against the wall. “Who I am at the core… I have killed maybe a thousand people in my time. Possibly more. I enjoyed each and every kill. Many of those I brought great pain and suffering to before they died. I miss that. I miss the hunt and the kill. I miss the crunch, and the sex, and the hot, fresh human blood rushing down my throat. Now I have nothing but pig’s blood and the occasional john who pays me to bite them or fuck them. I’m nothing now!”

Mary threw him off of her and across the room into the other wall. My God! How did I do that? I really am strong, now!

“That’s what I’m talking about.” Spike laughed, getting back in her face. “Feel it.” She just stared at him, so he punched her, making her head rock back.

When she straightened, her demon face was in place. “You hit me. No one hits me.” She hit him again, knocking him away.

“That’s my girl!” Spike bounced back to his feet. “You’re a vampire now. You’ll heal in no time. Plus, it can be fun.”

“What? Pain?”

“Yeah, Pet. Pain. Pleasure and pain are so close.” He morphed back to human and prowled over to her, his voice a seductive purr. “Haven’t you ever had pleasure so intense it made you cry? Don’t you pinch your nipples until they bruise? Haven’t you ever cried ‘harder?’ to your partner? Ever felt the swoony, dizzy feeling when you dislocate a toe? Isn’t it just like the feeling you get just before you come hard?”

Mary had only read about such things in the books she snuck home from work; romances with explicit sex she was too embarrassed to admit she read, the Penthouse Forums, or in the brutal magazines on underground cultures she looked at when she was in the store alone. These were filled with images of bound, tattooed, and pierced bodies twisted in ecstasy. At home, always alone, she would imagine a lover whose mind was open to anything, who would do anything only to make her cry out in pleasure. She would often exhaust herself so she would fall asleep without crying out her loneliness. When she answered him, she had morphed back as well, unnoticed. “I… No.”

He stepped up closer to her. “No? Never? Intelligent, pretty girl like you never had sex?”

“No. I’ve had sex. I… I’ve never had the kind of sex I wanted. I know what you’re talking about. I… I think I understand.”

“Buffy brought you here for me to mentor you,” Spike brought a slim hand up and cupped her face. “Let me teach you.”

He watched as emotions flitted across her face as she considered his offer.” I’ve read about it, but I’ve never felt it. I want to so much, and with him! Does he really want to be with me? This beautiful man wants me? I’ve already lost my life, what do I have to risk?  “Please, William,” she finally breathed, leaning into his  touch.

Yes! Thank you, Buffy! Spike drew her into a kiss and well beyond. He started slow, but rapidly learned she would take and give back anything he pleased. All night Spike took her to orgasm after orgasm, claiming his own pleasures as he would. He peppered his actions with curses and sweet nothings equally. A number of times she surprised him by turning the aggression back on him. He had found his match at last.

Hours later they lay in a heap on his bed, the room in a shambles around them. “I… smell something. No, I feel it,” Mary said.

“Sweaty and tired, Love?” muttered the naked vampire as he dragged a sheet over them.

She giggled. “No, more than that.”

Spike opened his senses. “Oh. That. The sun’s coming up. In… thirty-five minutes. Pay attention to that. The sun can kill you.”

“What else?”

Spike’s eyes were closed. “Huh? Oh. Decapitation. Broken neck. Wood through the heart. Sun. Slayer. Fire…” He fell silent and still.

Mary Sue Wisteria studied the man sleeping beside her, wondering at the strange turns her life had abruptly taken. Sure, she was dead, but she had met her fantasy lover at last. It seemed a fair trade. Happily, she snuggled in beside Spike and went to sleep.

Just after sunset she woke up, alone. Her transformation and the whole night before returned in a rush. She examined her body where some of the rough things William had done to her the night before had left bites, bruises and scratches. Now, all she could find were a couple of dim dark spots and a lingering, pleasant ache or two. She raised up, looked around for her clothes, and realized her funerary dress lay in tatters upstairs. She wrapped the bed sheet around herself and navigated the ladder to the upper chamber.

“William?” she called. It was obvious at once he was not there in the small room and a familiar loneliness hit her. Then she spotted a note in his well-known hand which directed her to blood in the fridge and to await his return. At the sight of the cold pints, her instincts compelled her to drain both of them. Afterwards, as any bibliophile was, she was drawn to the stacks of books under the counter. Many of them she recognized as ones she had ordered for him and left in the alley. Others were tattered thrift store editions.

She looked through the mixed selection of poetry, fantasy, short stories and literature. Here and there she found the notes she had left along with the books; her lists of recommendations with notations in his hand on them.

She picked out a book of poetry and settled in the chair to read. It was not long before Spike returned, carrying a couple of bags. He put a couple of pints in the fridge and smiled at her.

“I see you found my books.”

“Once a bookseller always a bookseller.”

“I picked you up some clothes. I had to guess at your size. Later we can get you some nicer things.” He brought a shopping bag to her.

She stood up and wrapped her arms around him.  “You kept my notes.”

“Yeah. Make good bookmarks. Well, Okay. I don’t get many notes. And certainly not from pretty girls.”

She laughed. “Pretty? Flatterer.”

“You are. You’re tall and graceful. You’ve lovely hazel eyes. I don’t know why you don’t dress better.”

“Right now I feel nasty. I’ve still got grave dirt in my hair and… after last night, other things.”

At this reminder, Spike was suddenly pressed up against her, kissing her, hard. “That’s another thing,” Spike purred. “You are hell in bed.” He kissed her again and soon freed her from the bed sheet. “You’re tall and can look me in the eye. Seems all the other women in Sunnyhell are stunted.” His eyes and lips followed his catalog of her virtues. “Your breasts are full and so nicely shaped. Your hips are round and full. Your legs are long and strong.” Soon they were full-on throwing one another around the room again. They did not notice the slight boy-shaped blonde figure when she appeared at the door.

When she came in, Spike had Mary bent over the sarcophagus lid, screwing her from behind. Buffy watched as the two vampires vigorously fucked one another. She paled at the vulgarities he was spewing. Suddenly, Mary pushed off the stone, making Spike fall backwards. She pounced on him, straddling him, and fucking hard. Spike’s head was thrown back and his eyes were closed. Both had so much hunger and abandon about them. Abruptly, he snarled and rolled her over, pinning her hands. This was when he noticed Buffy.

“Slayer, care to join us?” Buffy blanched and ran away with a squeak, hearing laughter trailing behind her.

Buffy ran all the way home, not sure why she was so rattled, although she knew why she was so horny. Spike is so hot with all those lean muscles and erect… no! Bad thoughts about dead man! You have a boyfriend, Buffy!

When she came in the door of her home, intending to go up to her room, she found Riley chatting with Dawn.

“Hey, Buffy. I thought you wouldn’t be back until later. I just brought by the book you asked…”

“Come with me, now.” Buffy grabbed his hand and lead him out.

“What is it?”

She said nothing until they reach the park. There she threw him against a tree and kissed him, bruising hard.

“Whoa! What’s this?”

“Shut up and fuck me, Riley!”

Fifteen minutes later, Riley was spent and Buffy was frustrated. Riley sunk to the ground, panting. “What… what got into you? Are you under a spell?”

“No. I just… want more.”

A look of hurt came into Riley’s big brown eyes. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Give me a couple of minutes. I… I can’t keep up."

Buffy fixed her skirt and stared at him. “No. No you can’t. No one can.” She ran off, leaving him sticky and confused.


Over the summer in Sunnydale, two couples changed.

Buffy apologized to Riley, but things were never the same. He tried to please her, trying kinky things, but his heart just wasn’t in it. He tried to be rough and have the stamina that she needed, but she kept just ahead of him.

Mary and Spike became inseparable. They talked books and rented movies. She introduced him to some classics he had always avoided. They found they shared a love of  spaghetti westerns. He talked her into letting him do her hair and make up as he had done Drusilla’s for so many years. He taught her about being a vampire. He tried to get her to kill for a while, but it was just not in her.

She turned the Big Bad talk back on him. Why does he miss it? What did he get from it? What about the families? After Spike stormed off several times, he finally broke down and cried in her arms. He had never really thought about the people, only about the fun and the power. They talked long sunny summer days away. Mary coaxed Spike to go back to his beginning, to share with her what he was like when human. He told her things he had hidden even from himself. He wept as he told her about his sweet mother. How he had sired her, then she became the first vampire he ever staked. He talked about Angelus and what a bastard he was, about  his feelings for Angelus regardless of how he was treated, about how Drusilla treated him and how he loved her, and about how he felt when Angelus returned.

Mary talked to him about her crazy mother, about her father’s death and how it still blind sided her ten years later, and about always feeling unattractive and left out. She told him of living in books and writing long, detailed stories to post on the internet. Anonymously, of course. She talked about always loosing boys to her prettier, younger coworkers. She talked about videotaping him, about watching him come and go from the Magic Box out of the little window in the bookstore bathroom, and about masturbating while fantasizing abut him.

He coached her singing voice and she helped him with his poetry.


One evening after many hours of sex and talking, Spike lay with his head in Mary’s lap, she played with his unruly curls with their dark roots, and he gazed up into her dark, loving eyes. “Mary,” he breathed, making her name a prayer. “All these long years wasted, spent hanging out with a psychotic and a loon. I never realized how much I just needed someone to talk to.”

“I needed that, too. Well, that and the sex!”

“I love you, Mary.”

“I love you, too, William.”


Buffy had been a regular Slayer-on-a-mission all summer. She was so busy taking out her frustrations on the local demon and vampire population, she almost worked herself out of a job. She found herself hanging around Spike’s crypt, hoping to see them at it again, and they did not disappoint. Three times she spied on the inhuman couple as they fucked and scratched among the tombstones. She wanted to see more and at the same time it tore her apart with longing. She was cross and distant with everyone.


She told herself she was just patrolling as she crossed through Spike’s cemetery as she headed for Giles’ apartment. I had better make sure things are quiet over here. Yeah, that’s it.

Crossing conveniently near Spike’s crypt, she saw a light on. I’d better make sure he’s not up to something. Hearing a murmur of voices, Buffy crept close and peeked into the barred window. The crypt was much changed from her last visit. Rich fabrics covered the tattered armchair and rugs covered the cold stone floor. She saw Mary sitting on a loveseat with Spike’s head in her lap. Somehow, this domestic scene shook her more than the rough sex. I… I have to get to Giles’. He’s expecting me… Buffy fled from her own worries.

“Come in, Buffy.” Giles stepped aside and ushered in his Slayer.

Buffy strode into the familiar apartment without looking around. “What’s up, Giles? Something I can kill?”

Instead of answering, Giles intoned a phrase in Latin causing the circle painted on the floor to flare and create a wall of shimmering energy. “Giles! What’s this about?”

“You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what is going on with you." 

Buffy threw herself against the barrier. “Let me go.”

“No, Buffy. I have tried every other way possible to talk to you. I need to know what is troubling my Slayer!”

“Giles, you really don’t.”

“Buffy,” Giles continued tiredly. “Everyone is worried about you. You’ve been relentless and reckless with your slaying. You’ve been distant and short with everyone in your life. Everyone you love has come to me and asked me to find out what is going on. For example, it took you a week to realize Riley left town on some mission.”

Buffy fought the spell one more time before collapsing in the center of the magic circle. “You may as well go ahead and clean your glasses,” she sighed, running her hands through her dull hair, and staring through the floor. “I’m frustrated. I’m horny and lonely and can’t get what I want.” She looked up at Giles who was, indeed, cleaning his glasses.


“I saw Spike and Mary… fucking. That’s the only word for it. They were wild and unrestrained. Both are vampires and neither one had to hold back.  He pounded and pounded and she cried out and took everything he had to offer. They were… beautiful. I want that! But I’m the Slayer. I’d kill any man I tried that with. Riley tried, but even with his Initiative bonuses, he couldn’t keep up.”


Buffy stood up and glared at him. “You had to know! If that is all the help you’re going to be, just let me go.”

Giles put his glasses back on but did not look at her. “Have you asked them?”

“Asked who what?”

“Spike and… Mary. If you can… join them.”


Giles shrugged. “Mary is very sweet, and smart. I had actually thought about asking her out when she worked next door. I just never got around to it. And Spike has changed considerably since you introduced them.”

“Giles, how do you know this?”

“I told you, everyone who cares for you talked to me. Spike hadn’t seen you around much and was concerned.”

“Spike? Cares for me?”

“Well, about you at least. They… they had me out to dinner the other night.” Buffy could only stand with her mouth open. “It’s funny, but she’s brought out his inner Victorian. William’s quite a nice guy.”

“And you’re saying I should, what, go knock on their crypt door and say ‘hi, are the swingers in? I want to be your girl toy for the evening.’”

Giles was cleaning his glasses again. “I… I don’t know if you should… phrase it quite that way. But I… believe they are open to the idea.”

“Giles!” Buffy was horrified as she put pieces together. “No! You didn’t! Let me out of here!”

“Buffy, you really should consider it.” Giles broke the ward and she ran off.

Buffy was shaken by the image of her Watcher in a threesome so she went by the Bronze for   beer. She found her friends in the cozy corner with a couch in it.

“Buffy!” Willow waved, Tara wiggled her fingers, and Buffy went over to join them. “Hey Buffy. We’ve missed you.”

“Run out of things to kill?” Asked Anya, her arm around Xander.

Xander gave Anya a look and Buffy shrugged. “It’s getting slow.”

They all sat awkwardly for a few. “So, how’re classes?” Xander asked.

“I’ve not been… keeping up with them lately. I’m behind.”

Willow tried to keep the mood up. “I can help you. You know me, little Miss. Catch Up.”

Buffy smiled a bit at that. “I really should.”

Another lull. “So did you talk to Giles? Did the binding spell work?” Everyone shot mean looks at Anya, who glared back. “What? No one was going to ask all night? So what’s wrong with you? Why are you being such a bitch?”

Buffy tried to deflect the conversation from herself. “I think Giles is… doing things he shouldn’t.”

“Has he joined another record of the month club?” quipped Xander.

“No... I think he’s been socializing with… with vampires.”

Anya chirped up again. “I hope you mean William and Mary and not one of the vamp suck pits. I mean, those are just disgusting.”

Buffy looked puzzled. “Vamp suck wha? Huh?”

“People pay vampires to bite them. It’s been going on, like, forever.”

“No… Not that.”

Willow hopped in before Anya could muddy the waters more. “I think Giles went to dinner with them the other day. I think… I think he’s worried about you.”

“Giles? Yeah, he said he was.”

“I mean Spike… William. We all are, Buffy. You’ve been distant and cranky.”

Buffy, seeing the concern on her friend’s faces stood up. “I’m fine! Just because I don’t have a boyfriend or... or anything! I’m fine!” In typical Buffy melodramatic fashion, she fled from help.

She wandered away from the Bronze and found herself at home. Her mother was delighted to see her often absent daughter. Soon they were cozied up on the couch with cocoa. 

“What’s been troubling you, Buffy? You can tell your mom anything.”

“I’m lonely, Mom. With this damn Slayer strength I can barely dance with a boy without bruising him.”

“You don’t have to be with anyone, you know.”

“God, mom. I’m only twenty. I want… I need a boyfriend. I can’t just be alone. Plus, being the Slayer, my life is destined to be short. You know that."

“I do, Buffy.” They sat in silence, Buffy staring into her cocoa, studying the white swirls that are all that remain of the marshmallows. “What about Angel?” Joyce finally asked.

Buffy barked a bitter laugh. “I make him too happy. Damn curse includes me too.”

“Oh, yeah. Well, how about Spike?”


“Now Buffy, you have to do something. William is sweet and…”

“Mom? They’ve had you too?”

“What? Had? No. I had them over to dinner the other night. You’re away at college and I get lonely. I always liked Mary even though she was such a wallflower. And William. I’m so glad he’s grown out of his bad boy phase.”

“He can’t grow! He’s a vampire!”

“I know, and so is she. They are so grateful you hooked them up. You should go around and see them.”

“Why is everyone pushing me to sleep with the undead Cleavers?”

“I’ll tell you straight, Buffy. You’ve been a royal bitch all summer. Keep this up and you may want to consider moving to the Cleveland Hellmouth cause you are killing everything and every relationship you have around here.”

Why is she turning on me, too? With her eyes full of tears, ignoring her mother’s concerned calls, Buffy stormed out of the house. Again.

She found herself wandering downtown. At first the polite, British voice calling to her did not register over the noise of the crowd. When she did hear it her first thought was of Wesley. What is Wesley doing back in Sunnydale? Maybe Angel’s in trouble! Then the voice came again.

“Bloody hell, Buffy!” That’s Spike. She turned, looking for the shock of white hair and shine of leather through the crowd.  It took a minute for her to focus on the young man coming toward her. He looked sort of like Spike, but this man was neatly dressed in a charcoal suit with a pale blue shirt and a neat rose-colored tie. His shoes were of the best fashion and highly polished. His hair was long, brown, and curling. He seemed shorter than Spike. He stopped before her. “Hello, Buffy. We’ve been meaning to look you up.” Spike? Huh? And his voice. He spoke more like a proper Englishman, like Giles.

Her eyes switched to the woman on his arm. Her thick, chestnut hair was neatly styled. Buffy’s critical eye took in her top-fashion clothing and professionally applied make-up. She was standing straight and her hazel eyes sparkled. “Mary?” Buffy asked.

“Of course it’s me. It’s good to see you.”

“You both look… wonderful.”

They exchanged a look and Mary smiled. “Thank you. Coming from one whose fashion sense is legendary, it means a lot. But really, William should thank you.”

Buffy shifted doubtful eyes to Spike who shrugged. “Lady has to have a mirror. We’re each other’s mirrors.”

“You do her make up?”

“And her hair. Don’t tell Xander, he’ll just kid me about it.” They both laughed. “We were going for dessert. Come join us.”

“Please do,” Mary put her hand on Buffy’s arm.

Buffy shrugged. “I may as well see what the cult of William and Mary is about since it’s claimed everyone I know.”

“Good!” Spike said and offered her his other arm. Doubtfully, she took it. They lead her to a nice little restaurant and got a table in the corner.

They ordered sweets and drinks, chatting about the movie they just saw. The last ice cream was eaten and Spike took the check before Buffy could stand no more and turned on Spike. “What’s the scam?”

“Pardon?” he blinked.

“Why are you talking like that? Why are you acting like that? Where’s your coat? What have you done to my friends?” She was unaware her voice was rising.

“Buffy,” he soothed her. “There is no scam. Mary has provided the key element missing in my life.”

“A brain?”

“No, Love,” he chuckled. “Someone to talk with. Someone to listen to me. Someone willing to tell me when I’m being foolish.”

“I’ve been telling you that for years.”

Spike smiled sadly. “Only in your distancing, I-don’t-give-a-damn way. You’ve never cared for me, Buffy.” He slipped his hand over hers and looked in her eyes. “Mary has brought me back. I no longer have to be the creature Angelus created. Yes, I’m still a vampire, but I don’t have to be a demon. I was a good man, Buffy. I cared for my ailing mother and earned a good living. That’s why I can be one again. Because I choose to.

“To answer your questions. The accent was an affectation. I had to be tough to survive. Angelus saw I learned that, and I admit it was fun at the time. But I have hung up my accent and attitude along with the coat, and I feel wonderful.”

Buffy looked at his soft hands with no trace of black nail polish, cut, or scab. “I still don’t believe it.” She pulled her hand from under his and slipped it under the table.

He shrugged and linked fingers with Mary. “Believe it, Buffy. For once your Slayer instincts lead you to create instead of destroy.”

“Oh, I’m happy for the both of you. Where are you registered?” she asked sarcastically.

Mary spoke up. “We’re going to travel. William has been all over the world. There are places he wants to see again. Places I’ve never been.”

“Send me postcards.”

“Buffy,” she said, her tone making the Slayer meet her eyes. “Believe this. I cannot express my gratitude for everything you have done. I’m sorry if you feel something has been taken from you. It was not my intention.”

Buffy looked away. “Yeah. You’re welcome.”

Spike whispered something in Mary’s ear, kissed her, and she stood up. “Thank you again, Buffy. And let me tell you this, he is his own man. Good night.” She kissed Spike firmly on the lips and left the two of them alone.

“Buffy, I know your life has been rough lately.”

“What do you know of my life?” she asked through gritted teeth.

“Your world overlaps mine, and this is a small town. I’ve seen you patrolling, relentlessly. You are demon genocide lately. Did you know Willy’s bar has actually closed for lack of business?

“I’ve talked to your friends. It was Riley who looked me up first.” This was news to Buffy, and her eyes narrowed. “He came to rough me up, wanting someone to blame for the change in your attitude. Seems he always thought me a threat to his relationship with you. The three of us talked.

“Over the next month, I saw other people in your life. Buffy, do you realize you have what I never had and never will? You have a wonderful cache of loyal friends and family who love you. I think that’s the main reason I hated you all so much.”

“So, you’ve met with all my friends.”

“Yes. And I’ve thought about it. Buffy, I want to make an offer. I do not say this lightly."

“What could I want from you, Spike?”

He smiled, softly. “I’m William now, but that’s beside the point. Buffy. I saw you watching us. I admit we’ve put on a show for you a couple of times.” Buffy’s eyes snapped to meet his. “It’s destroying you and that was not our intention.

“I know too well what it’s like to be on the outside. To want something so much it hurts. Mary and I are going to travel and I don’t know if we’ll ever return to Sunnydale. We’re going to leave in a month, and in that month, you can have what ever sex you want, as much as you want.

Did he really just offer me that? He’s offering me what I’ve been longing for all summer? Just like that? I couldn’t! I mean, he’s a vampire. I’m the Slayer. But God! Who else in the world could fuck me like that? What’s the catch? “What about Mary?

“We have decades ahead of us. We share no jealousies. And, if you want, she’ll have sex with you, too. It’s fine.”

“Like Giles?” she asked bitterly. 

“Yes, like Giles. He’s a lonely man, Buffy. He gave up everything, every promise of a wife and children when he came here from England. Mary spent one night in his bed and both came away enriched.” Spike’s voice was level and calm.

It wasn’t a threesome! Thank God for that! But wait, if she and Giles… “Have you done anything with my mother? My friends?”

“To quote Rocky Horror, ‘Why? Do you think I should?’”


“I’m sorry. That was tasteless of me. Giles and Mary only. Anya wanted to, her idea, but Xander vetoed it.”


“Because he doesn’t like to share.”

“No, not that. And ew. Why make this offer? Why do you care?”

He leaned in and looked in her eyes. “Because I care about you, Buffy. I see the sacrifices you make and your big heart. So many people care about you, and you are driving them away. If I can provide you what you need to get your head back on straight, I want to do that. You’ve even been good to me. Punk, foul mouthed, evil vampire I was. In your way, you were good to me."

“Is that all, William?”

He laughed, a free, deep laugh she had never heard before. “That and because I want to. From the first day I saw you dance at the Bronze I’ve wanted to fuck you.” Unknowingly, he had let the accent slip back in. “You have this strong, tight body, and hair made of sunlight. You move with the grace of a panther. You are beautiful, Slayer. Every man who sees you wants you. Plus, I have a theory I want proven that the only thing better than killing a Slayer is fucking one.”

Buffy smiled a little. “Hello, Spike. Hearing that from you, I can believe it.”

Spike blinked and realized he had been baited. “It’s an open invite, Slayer. We leave in a month.” He left her sitting alone.


She tried to run away from herself for two days before finally, giving in and going to Spike’s crypt. She started to kick the door open, then, remembering the changes, knocked instead.

“Buffy! Come in.” A neatly dressed Spike held the door open as she stared blankly at him. “Buffy?” he asked gently. “Is something wrong?”

“I… My world has changed,” she strode into his crypt only to pause and take in the clean, neat interior. “Everyone is still going on about… William and Mary. It’s all I hear about!”

“We’re very happy. Thank you for…"

“I’ve seen how happy you are! You’re not supposed to be happy!” He tilted his head to one side. “You’re the bad guy! I’m the hero! I’m supposed to be the one with the perfect mate, with all the friends, and the hot sex!” Her hand flew up to her mouth, as if she could stuff the last sentence back in.

“I’m sorry,” his voice was gentle and caring. “I didn’t mean to harm you.”

“Well it did! It does! I want that! Damn it! I’m a Slayer! I break mortal boys! And Angel…”

Spike stepped up close. “What can I do for you, Love? I remember my offer."

“I don’t want you, William! I don’t want some poncy Victorian poet to do my hair! I want Spike. I want. To fuck. Spike. There! Are you happy? I said it.”

He looked at her levelly, and when he answered his voice was low. “Very well. I’ll go get my evil twin.” He climbed down the ladder to the sub crypt.

When he came back up he was wearing his old standards of black jeans, t-shirt and leather coat. Only the now-dark hair pulled back in a tight pony tail had changed. He slouched out of the downstairs and lit a cigarette, sneering at her as he leaned against the sarcophagus. “Slayer. I heard you were looking for me.” The Cockney had made a return.

Buffy at first greeted the return of the Big Bad with excitement, then realized a flaw in the plan. She suddenly collapsed, sobbing. “I just realized. You can’t help me. You can’t give me what I want.”

With effort, Spike stayed in character, although his first impulse was to go to her side. “Try me.”

“Your... your chip. I forgot about your chip. What I want…” she broke off, sobbing again.

Spike strode over and loomed over her. “Just what do you want, Pet? How are you hot for my cold form?”

“I want it rough! I… I need you to hurt me! I want to bite and… scratch. I want to throw and be thrown! And you can’t hurt me!” She huddled on the floor.

He tapped her on the shoulder. When she looked up, he slugged her across the room. “It’s gone, Love,” he said coldly, his words like dropping stones. “Has been for over a month. It was a parting gift from Riley. You see, he hooked me up with a doc who took it out. So what do you want? Pet.”

“I knew you were running some sort of scam,” she said from where she crouched on the floor.

“Yeah,” he laughed. “I’ve been acting like I was just to get in your pants.” He slid his hand down his chest to cup his balls.

Buffy flew out of her crouch to slam into him. He fell back onto the loveseat which flipped over. “Baby likes it rough,” he cried, throwing her off and leaping to his feet. “Come on, Slayer. What else ya got?”

Buffy flew at him again. He flipped them over, pinned her, and ground his hard member against her. “You want that? I can…” Suddenly, she was kissing him with bruising force. and he returned her attention with equal passion. Both were ripping at one another’s clothing. The long leather coat was tossed aside. Buttons flew from Buffy’s shirt. It took no effort for him to slide into her dripping pussy.

“Hard, Spike! Fuck me hard!” screamed the Slayer.

Spike growled and pounded into her, his hips leaving bruises, and his thrusts scraping her against the floor. Too soon they both came in a barrage of cries and moans. Spike collapsed on top of her. Buffy felt better than she had in months. “Want more, Pet?” he breathed in her ear once her heart had stopped racing.

“Shut up, Spike,” she said without much force as she shoved him off her.

Spike rolled onto his back and started stroking his cock back to hardness. “Here’s another lesson I bet the Watcher didn’t teach you.”

“What?” she saw his already recovered member and launched herself at him with a grin.

Over the next month, they fucked every way and everywhere possible. Patrols became adventures in finding new places to have sex. Their game was always the Big Bad Spike and the Slayer. She would allow none of his tenderness. Buffy and Spike both spent their days walking funny, but happy.


Too soon, the month was up. Spike had convinced her to stay in his crypt so they could play with handcuffs the last night and Buffy had fallen asleep with the cuffs still on her wrists. Spike unlocked the cuffs, put them aside, drew her close, and kissed her awake. “Wake up, Love.”


“Tonight is our last one together. I didn’t think you wanted to sleep it away. We leave tomorrow.” Gentle William was back.

“What? So soon?”

“It’s been a month. Tickets are bought and there are places we want to go.”

Buffy pouted. “I understand. But… I’ll miss you both.”

“We’ll miss you, Pet,” he kissed her softly, like she would never let him when they were in character.

She returned his kisses. “Where is Mary?”

“She’s upstairs.”

“Go get her?” Buffy had avoided Mary for it seemed wrong to her to sleep with a taken man. Spike smiled and ran the back of his hand against her cheek. She stopped him as he started to rise. “One more kiss from Spike?”

With a wicked grin, he threw himself on her and they exchanged breathless, bruising kisses. He slid his hand down her naked body and easily manipulated her to a quick, dirty orgasm before he pulled away. “You’ll not forget the path of destruction the Big Bad has left behind, will you, Slayer?

“No. I never will,” she panted.

Spike left her and climbed upstairs. Minutes later, Mary came down the ladder. “Hey, Buffy. You wanted to see me?”

“Come join me, Mary,” Buffy patted the bed beside her. She sat on the bed, clothed. “No,” Buffy said, lifting the sheet, “join me.”

If Mary could have blushed she would have. She slipped off her clothes and slid in beside the warm Slayer. “William told me you leave soon. I… I want to thank you.”

“But I’m the one who owes you.”

“We’ll call it even. You didn’t have to share. I was… I was going a little mad. When you came along and… redeemed Spike, I saw what could have been. I think I could have been the one to do that. Instead, I chased off Riley, the one man who would have me.”

“There will be others, Buffy. You’re a wonderful woman.”

“Perhaps. At least now I’ll have some… experiences to look back on. Although there are a few more I want.” Buffy wasted no time in pulling her close and kissing her. “Mary,” she panted after a minute. “I know how hard it’s been, being left on the sidelines.”

“At first. Then, well, he came back to me with such an appetite...”

“I didn’t wear him out?”

“A couple of times. I didn’t know that was possible. Of course, we’re not always so… energetic together.”

“How does he feel, now? Being left out?”

“He’s probably upstairs listening as best he can and whacking off.”

Buffy giggled. “Shall I call him?” Mary smiled and nodded. “William! Do you want to watch?”

Spike instantly jumped down. “I’d hoped you’d ask.” He was wearing a dressing gown of black silk and settled himself like Hugh Hefner on a loveseat to watch.

“I’ve never made love to a girl before,” murmured Buffy.

“Neither have I. Just do to me what feels good to you, I guess.”

“Better than free cable porn,” muttered Spike, wrapping his hand around his penis.

The two touched and explored one another’s bodies, discovering the similarities and differences. Mary was round, full, and dark. Buffy was slim, small, and light.

Spike delighted in watching the intertwining of limbs and play of contrasts. Buffy kissed and licked her way down Mary’s body. Soon, the vampire was clutching the sheets and trusting up into the Slayer’s mouth. When she could take no more, they traded places.

Spike’s movements quickened and he came as Buffy met his eyes and shook to his lover’s touch.

Buffy drew Mary up to lay beside her, then held out her hand to Spike. He eagerly climbed in bed on her other side. They looked expectantly at her. She pulled her hair back off her neck and held out an arm to each. “Taste,” she whispered. Their hands touched and caressed her with Spike on her left, and Mary on her right. They exchanged smiles and leaned in. They kissed each other, then kissed her. She heard a familiar crackle as both morphed. They bit into her neck at the same time and fed lightly, each taking a small sip of potent slayer blood. Buffy picked up Spike’s wrist and held it to Mary, who bit him. Buffy reclaimed a sip of her blood from Spike, then did the same with Mary. Spike and Mary licked each other’s wounds, healing them and tasting one another. All gasped as their senses tripled.

Buffy wondered at how hot her skin felt to them. Mary was rocked by hearing Buffy’s heartbeat within her. Spike reveled in the double stimulation of feeling his erection pressing Buffy’s leg. With a growl, Spike rolled her over on top of him. Mary touched and kissed them both. He slid in her hot pussy. Like an echo chamber, sensations were shared and triggered more attention. They slid over, in, and out of one another. The blood link was making it hard to tell who was touching who and where. With mingles cries that were heard throughout the cemetery, all came at the same time.


Buffy stirred first. She kissed Mary, then Spike. “Now we are one. I know you will never forget me.”

“As if anyone could, Buffy Summers.”

The Slayer rose, dressed silently, and climbed the stairs. She looked back at the couple snuggled in bed, smiled, and left them to get on with their lives together, taking with her the strength to get on with her own life.

Thanks to Donovan for the Beta.

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