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Coerced 

Part 2

It was almost three in the morning when Spike returned. A little tension he didn’t know he carried dissipated when he was still able to step in without an invite. It returned when he looked around to see the landscape of the living room changed. There was enough light coming through the open blinds to see there were several piles of boxes and all the art from throughout the apartment leaned against the chair. He listened and heard Xander breathing deeply, his heartbeat slow in sleep.

Quietly, Spike set the duffle he carried on the kitchen counter and opened it. He placed two bags of blood in the fridge, noting how clean and empty it was. Was Xander going to move and leave him? Xander loved this apartment. It was his first real place to live. He had to find more clues.

Spike made his way to the bedroom. The bedside light was on, and Xander lay on his back, mouth open. Spike studied his love with a smile. He looked so cute when he was asleep. Heck, he looked cute when he was awake. Spike noticed an object about to fall off the bed. He picked it up and looked it over.

Xander had printed and framed a picture Dawn had taken of him. In it, Spike leaned against a brick wall, one foot up flat against it, thumbs in jeans pockets, fingers splayed, a sneer and a cigarette on his lips. Dawn had dubbed it “very James Dean.” Spike smiled again, feeling a pang at how he’d left Xander.

The object of his affection finally sensed him near. Xander cracked his eyes open, blinking to focus at the pale figure by his bed. “Spike?”

“Yeah, Love, it’s me.”

A dopey smile curled the corners of his mouth as Xander lifted the blanket and slid down. “Come to bed. Missed you,” he muttered.

“I missed you too, Xander.” Spike leaned over and kissed his forehead. “I’m grimy from the road and sleeping out. I need to shower. Okay, Pet? I’ll be right back.”

Xander merely nodded and pulled the blankets up. Spike put the photo by the bedside and turned off the light.

Spike closed the bathroom door before he turned on the lights. The room was uncharacteristically messy. Xander’s clothes lay in a pile, a wet towel was tossed over the edge of the tub, the cap was off the toothpaste, and a bottle of pain relievers with sleep aide sat open on the counter. That explained the less than energetic reception. Xander only used those when he was stressed, or really achy from hard work.

Spike picked up the ratty t-shirt which lay on the floor. It was one of those not nice enough to wear, but plenty good for hard work shirts. A freebie from a local radio station. Spike turned it right side out and looked it over. There were fresh splatters of several colors of paint, and someone had painted a crude smiley face with fangs on the back. Spike smiled back at the cartoon and sniffed the garment. Xander musk was of course the strongest. Spike longed to make Xander sweat like he had in this shirt again. Paint, dust from an unknown place, cleaning chemicals, pizza, beer, Dawn, Willow, and all the Scoobies could be detected in some amount. What was his boy up to? Spike dropped the shirt in the hamper, but resisted the urge to go through the pants packets. Quickly, he stripped and showered, turning the water on hot. Afterwards, he paused, staring at the empty mirror as he toweled his hair dry.

Xander had been busy painting and cleaning somewhere. He’d packed their things. Spike absently tidied away the items left askew by tired Xander, hung up the towels, and stepped out. In the hallway he paused. Was his box still there? Sure, Xander had welcomed him and not uninvited him, but…  Spike slipped into the bedroom and quietly opened the closet. It was empty except for a few shirts and Spike’s wooden box. Satisfied, he slipped into bed beside his sleeping lover. Soon able to relax and back by his lover’s side, he was as asleep as Xander.

Xander stirring awoke Spike. Sometime it he night, the boy had rolled away, and now Spike was spooned against him. Xander shifted, touched the arms wound around him, and went still. Spike hugged him closer and kissed the back of his neck, breathing in the sleep-heavy scent he’d missed so much.

“Let me up, I need to pee,” Xander mumbled. Spike kissed him one more time and let him go. He watched Xander stumble out of the room without looking back. He stretched, reaching a limb to each corner of the bed, listening as Xander took care of his body’s needs. He turned expectantly toward the door, but was puzzled when Xander went to the kitchen instead of returning right away. He identified Xander’s actions as he opened the fridge, picked up a can of power drink, shook it, opened and drained it. Spike felt himself get a little harder. Xander had discovered he enjoyed sex better with a fresh dose of sugar in his system. Then there was a long pause.

When Xander came back, Spike held up the sheet much as Xander had the night before. “Xander, I…” Spike begin.

Without warning, Xander leapt on him. He landed with his knees on either side of Spike, pinning one of his arms, and pressed his hand hard over Spike’s mouth. “Shut up, Spike,” Xander gritted. “You didn’t say anything when you left, you don’t get to say anything now.”

Had any other creature done this to Spike, it would have been a bloody splatter on the far wall before it’d finished talking. As it was, Spike’s eyes widened and flickered gold as Xander spoke, his faces inches away. Spike let all tension drain from his body and nodded, taking the submissive role Xander demanded.

Xander shoved himself off the still vampire. Without taking his eyes off him, he jerked the covers aside and threw them to the floor. He yanked open the bedside drawer, pulled out the lube, and squeezed too much into his hand. He dropped the tube and worked himself hard, penning Spike with his almost disinterested gaze. He climbed up from the foot of the bed and, without a word, grabbed Spike’s ankles and put them up on his shoulders, opening and presenting Spike to his hard cock.

It had been a very long time since Spike had feared a lone human. Now he found himself afraid of Xander. Had something taken him over? Was he under a spell? Or sick? Maybe this was revenge. He was going to give him false hope, then move away.

With his slick hand, and the air of making things easy for only himself, Xander thrust in one, two, three fingers in as many thrusts into Spike’s virginal hole. He allowed no one and nothing but his lover in. Spike did his best to relax and open up when Xander positioned his thick cock abruptly thrust in. As it was, he couldn’t help but suck in a breath in pain.

Without pausing, or taking his eyes from Spike’s face, Xander began a steady, hard pounding. He felt the body below him finally grow looser and he pressed all the deeper.

Spike had expected Xander to be hurt or mad, but this treatment surprised him. Not  that he didn’t deserve it. Maybe Xander was going to leave him or dust  him. One last fuck before goodbye. The reception of the night before had clearly been a drug-addled response. 

Spike felt tears cloud his carefully submissive expression and could do nothing to stop them. He closed his eyes to shut out Xander’s blankness. Heavy drops of salt welled behind closed lids and spilled over to run down his face.

“You left me. Damn it. You left me. You hit me and you left me,” Xander said in time to his punishing, machine-like thrusts. Sweat rolled off his body and rained on the still body beneath him.

Spike drew in a breath to answer, but was silenced by Xander’s work-roughened hand returning to cover his mouth. Had he been human, he would have been in danger of suffocation.  “No words. Too late. No ‘I’m sorry.’ No ‘I’ll call.’ No 'don’t worry.’ I wasn’t sure if you were sorry. I waited for you to call. I did worry.” All the while Xander kept pounding out his weeks of anger.

Spike opened his eyes to apologize with a look if he could. Xander’s head was thrown back, tears streaming from his eyes which joined the rain of sweat from his brow. “Damn you, Spike. Damn you.” He opened his eyes, looking straight into Spike’s apologetic, loving, and worried gaze. His rhythm faltered and sobs broke from behind his wall of anger. He took his hand from Spike’s mouth, shrugged off Spike’s cramped legs, and allowed his quivering arms to give out.

“Spike, Spike. Don’t do that again. Never leave without a word. Never just leave,” Xander sobbed between ragged breaths.

Spike lay still, not knowing what was wanted until Xander turned his head and kissed Spike’s shoulder with wet, quivering lips. “I’m sorry,” Spike could just make out he words as Xander buried his face in his neck.

Spike wrapped his arms around Xander and held him close. “I’m sorry, Xander. I’m so sorry. I’ll never do that again. I swear. I didn’t hurt you bad, did I, Pet? I worried about that.”

Xander shook his head. “Just hold me now, please?” Spike gently maneuvered Xander until they were side-by side and twined together.  Soon, both their tears receded and Xander was planting salty kisses on Spike’s soft hair a Spike lay with his head on Xander’s chest, listening to the strong heartbeat he’d missed. He’d missed the sound, the scent, the love. The thought he’d almost fucked it up for good laterally shook him.

“You all right?” Xander asked, his voice rough.

“Now that I’m home. Now that I know you aren’t leaving me.”

“No, not leaving you, why would you think I’m leaving you?”

“Let’s see. Possessions all packed in boxes. Very non-tender sex…”

“Oh, Spike! I hurt you! I hurt you with my cock! Me of all people to do that…” and he was lost in tears again.

Spike pulled him close and soothed him. “Hush, Xander. It was fair and right.”

“No, no. How could it be? How could I do that to anyone?”

“You know what I am. You knew you couldn’t permanently hurt me. Right?”

Xander hesitated and nodded. “But I wasn’t thinking about that. I just wanted…”

“You wanted to make sure I hurt as much as you did. I understand that. You know about vampires. You gave the demon what it deserved. You dominated it, Xander. Hell, I deserve much worst for hurting my love.”

“I was so mad, so hurt. I’d planned on just forgetting it happened when you got back.”

“But that’s not right, Love. Not right at all.” Spike took Xander’s shoulder and maneuvered him till he could see his face. “Let’s do this, Pet. Let’s take that day over again. From the top. Okay?” Xander nodded and snuffled. “I’ll go clean up a little, and you follow when you’re ready.” Xander nodded again.

Spike kissed Xander gently and rolled out of bed. He hoped his love saw none of the blood he knew ran down his leg in a thin  trickle from his already-healing body.

Xander scrubbed at  his face with tissues as he listened to Spike run water and move around. Shortly, he left the bathroom and moved away into the living room.

He was so glad Spike had come back safe. He pulled himself together, grabbed a pair of sweat pants, and made his way to the bathroom. He quickly washed off the now-sticky KY, slipped on the pants, and followed his love to the other room.

He discovered Spike standing in the center of the room, his bare feet six inches from the line of bright sunlight that shone in the open windows. He stood, naked but for his coat, in much the same pose he’d held that day five weeks earlier.

“Hey, Spike,” he called from the hallway.

Spike didn’t move. Xander hesitated, then figured he should take that hated day exactly as he had six weeks before. He drew a deep breath, stepped up behind Spike, and put his had on his shoulder. He braced for impact, but instead, Spike thrust his fist out before himself, holding it in the sun beam.

After a second, the flesh started to smoke. “Spike! What are you doing? Stop that!” Xander tried to push his arm down, but it was like a band of iron.

“I’d rather burn off my arm than hurt you, Pet.”

Xander stepped between Spike and the sun, shielding him. Xander took the reddened hand in his own and brought it to his lips. “I startled you. I should know better than to do that by now”

Spike freed his hand and took Xander’s arm. He brought it up and kissed the very place he’d bruised. “It’s no excuse.”

Xander allowed Spike to pull him close and stood with warm sun to his back and cool vampire to his front. “What were you thinking about, Spike?” Xander asked quietly.

“The sun. I was raging against the sun and how easily it can trap me.”

“So… you going to walkabout again?”

“I… yeah. I’ve got that urge, Pet.”

Xander looked away from Spike’s eyes, then back. “But you’ll come back?”

“Gods, yes.”

“You’ll call?”

“Can’t promise when.”

“It’s not me? Not ‘cause of me?”

“No, pet, never that.” Spike moved to slip his arms around Xander, but pulled back when he encountered the hated sun again. “Let’s go talk, Pet.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

They retreated to the dark bedroom where Spike traded duster for blanket.

Xander sat on the bed cross-legged  beside Spike. “I know why you left. Why you had to go walk about.”

Spike swallowed. Did Xander know all the bits of nasty he got up to? He followed Xander’s rules. He didn’t kill unless in self defense. He fed off the dregs and not the cream. “But I came back,” he said, hoping to derail Xander's line of logic.

“Yeah, I knew you would. You left your box,” Xander said, taking a tissue from the box by the bed and toying with it.

Spike felt a hidden pang of guilt that he’d checked on the security of the box that held a few tiny mementos of a hundred plus long life. “Oh,” Spike said, taking the tissue from Xander and putting it aside. He regained Xander’s eyes with a finger under his chin. “I also left my love and my future, Pet.”

“I know,” he said quietly, seeing the sincerity in Spike’s eyes. “But the box was something I could touch. Not open, cause I don’t do that.”

“I’ll show you what’s in there, if you like, Xander.”

“I know. That’s why it doesn’t bother me. You deserve something of your own. This place is too small. Heck, I realized I’d moved the computer into your room.”

“Closet, Love. And I use it as much as you do.”

“Closet. It’s just that you need to be able to roam. You need time to not have to answer to anyone. Am I right?”

“Yeah. That’s a lot of it. But I’m…”

“Happy, yes. I love you, Spike and I know you love me. The fact you’ve stayed here so long and put up with so many restrictions shows me that.”

“You figure this out on you own, cause I couldn’t put it better myself.”

Xander sighed. “The night you left, I went to Giles. He told me how you’d threatened all of them after… after the last time. He made me eat a good meal, allowed me to get drunk.”

“He better not have taken advantage of you,” Spike mock growled.

”Ew! Father figure, Spike. No. We talked. Friend and Watcher. He helped me define our relationship to myself. Then he helped me look at you as the vampire you are by nature. The very old vampire.”

“So what bits of dusty Watcher knowledge did he dredge up? I’ll tell you if he’s right.”

“It’s a block and a half to the nearest useful sewer access.”

“How the bloody hell does he know that?”

“We spent so much time studying every available map of Sunnydale in the past, I could never get lost in  this town.”

“Oh, right.”

“He pointed out how not feeding properly and sleeping irregularly can effect you.”

“Damn Watcher studies,” Spike muttered.

“What studies?”

“Think about it Xander. They’ve been watching us for hundreds of years. They keep a psychotic vampire in a box to test Slayers, for crap’s sake. I’ve heard things make the Initiative seem somewhat tame.”

“Oh. And how you never lived long in one place, and could come and go through the sewers from the crypts.”

“It’s all true. Wonder why he’s been so helpful?” Spike said as he trailed a hand over Xander’s leg.

“He loves me like a son, and he’d maybe deny it, but he admires you.”

“What’s not to admire?” Spike chuckled. “I won’t tell. What’s your insight from all this, Love?”

“We can’t stay here.”

“Sunnydale?”

“This apartment.”

“But you love this place, Xander.”

“Not after I realized it was a cage for you.”

“It’s a very nice cage, Pet.”

“Gilded, maybe, but a cage. Spike, you live the life I always wanted. You don’t have to answer to anyone. You don’t have to worry about paying the bills or getting up to go to work.”

“You saying you want to be kept?”

“Sure. Isn’t it everyone’s dream?” Spike smiled and shrugged. “But I realized, Spike, that there is no such thing as a free ride. You pay by being trapped, by giving up the freedoms you’ve had for over a hundred years.”

“It’s true. As happy as I am, I just need to… run sometimes.”

“Which gets me back to why we can’t stay here.”

Spike remembered the paint and dust on Xander’s clothes. “What are you up to, Pet?”

“I don’t want to tell you, I want to show you.”

“Oh? I have other ways of getting information from you…” Spike grabbed Xander, rolled him over, and was on top of him in an instant, unconsciously mirroring Xander’s earlier attack. Spike leaned in and started kissing his love.

Xander laughed and returned his kisses. “You’ll have to play rougher than that. I like this.”

The phone rang and Spike growled. “It’s probably the guys, looking for me,” Xander said, and gently pushed Spike away. He stretched out an arm and grabbed the phone. “Hello?” Spike wickedly grinned and moved lower on the bed. “Hey, Wills.” Spike grabbed the waistband of the sweats and tugged them off in one movement. “Eep. No, I’m fine.” Spike licked his lips, meeting Xander’s eyes as he shook he head. “Spike’s back.” Spike ran his cool tongue up Xander’s hardening cock. “Y… Yeah.” Xander tried to push his head away, but Spike merely snapped at his hand and went back to his licking. “Oh. Um. Oz has a key. Oh. I’ll… we’ll see you in… in an hour.”

“Two!” Spike called out and took Xander in his mouth.

“Two. Bye!” Xander didn’t notice he missed the off  button as he dropped the phone on the bedside table.

Willow couldn’t resist listening to the giggles and growls for a minute, only hanging up when Xander started telling Spike how much he’d missed him.

Tara watched Willow’s cheeks flush, but only spoke after her love hung up. “What? What’s got you all happy?”

“Spike’s back.”

“That’s wonderful!”

“And they’re making up. Xander didn’t hang up the phone.”

“Oh! And you didn’t let me listen! Wicked wicca!”

“I know we’ve got some time. Let me call Oz, then I’ll show you what I think was going on…”

On to Part 3

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