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Part eight in the Candy Perfume Boys series. BtVS 7th season. After “Help” Rated R for extreme content. Spike & Xander
No Candy, No Perfume (Track 8) Xander looked around cautiously,
shining his flashlight into the dark corners of the high school basement.
None of the other men would come down here unless they absolutely had to,
and then only in gangs of five or more. The old school basement seemed to, hell,
it did change around you. You never saw or heard the walls move, but you were
always getting turned around. Supposedly, there was an electrical box, which
needed to be disconnected down there. The men had gone over every inch of the
above-ground site, and nowhere in the records did it show a new tie-in to the
old system, but a length of electrical conduit leading down through the floor
could mean the box was no where else. There was too much work to be done topside
to send five men to do a one-man job. Xander didn’t want to go by himself, but
he saw no alternatives. It was go alone or have men quit. So here he was, armed
with a tool belt containing everything he would need to complete his job. Xander
walked the changing hallways with a heavy flashlight in one hand and a long
screwdriver in the other. Rounding a corner, he saw a
small, pale shape vanish between two crates. It made him jump and ready the
screwdriver to stab. Was it a white rat? Xander listened, but heard nothing more
after the initial scrabbling. Carefully, screwdriver and
flashlight at the ready, Xander peered between the crates. A niche some five
feet wide and four deep was cast in shadow. He saw motion and played the
flashlight into the darkness. Xander drew in a sharp breath at what the light
revealed. He knew Spike was down here, but he hadn’t really expected to see
him, and certainly not naked. Wordlessly, Xander looked over the vampire where
he pressed himself back into a corner. Spike ducked his head and drew
his hands up over his head. His hair was disarrayed and greasy. Deep gouges crisscrossed the pale chest. With a
pang, Xander realized how thin he was, how dead his skin. Spike shifted, moving
from one corner to another, whimpering against the light. As he moved, Xander
saw his penis. It too, was scratched and gouged. “Spike, you’re hurt…”
Xander reached out, wanting to comfort, wanting to understand. Spike curled in on himself, tight in a fetal position. “No!” he shouted, making Xander jump back. ”Don’t. Don’t touch me. I don’t deserve to be touched. You don’t know…” The vampire fell to quiet whimpers again. “I don’t know what, Spike?” Xander asked softly. His heart was breaking for his some-times masturbation partner. “You don’t know how many people I’ve hurt with it. I’ve made people go mad using just my dick.” “Spike…” Xander breathed, not knowing what to do. “You… you never hurt me with it. In fact, you made me feel pretty damn good.” Spike looked up at him from under his elbow. For a second, Xander saw a brightness there, like a star seen from the corner of his eye, then it was gone so fast, he did not know if it was real. The blue eyes clouded and Spike’s brows clinched. “You’re not dead, are you? Have you come to sing to me? All the dead ones. I hurt them. Little girls. I loved the taste of little girls. Little… virgin… girls.” “Okay, Spike. You can stop saying ‘little girls’ any time now.” Xander was thoroughly weirded out, now. Spike buried his head again.
“If you bleed them… if you drink just enough… they still cry when you…
ram into them. Dinner and a show, Dru called it. She would lick the blood off
me… And grown men, too. Why… why
are they afraid of it? It’s an opening. It feels so good done right.” “Spike, why don’t you leave
off the memory lane?” “There are those who
wouldn’t let me in. A very few I wanted, but I was good, even then. Before I
got… I didn’t hurt the ones who mattered.
I didn’t force myself. I know I hurt the girl. But I didn’t do it. I
stopped. She was hurt, I could have… And the other.
Even when I wanted to ask. I wanted to ask the boy. I wanted to feel his
heat… in me or around me… but I knew he never would. Now… now I don’t
want him to. I don’t want to hurt the boy. Never hurt him.” Xander never knew Spike wanted
to take their relationship the last step. They had touched, sucked, and rubbed,
but Xander had set the rule of no penetration. Spike had respected it and never
asked for more once the rule was set. Xander reached out to stroke the tussled
hair, but Spike abruptly exploded out of his corner, pushing Xander away. He
landed on his tailbone, startled. “Spike, wait!” he called, but the vampire
was already gone. Frustrated, Xander determinedly
found the elusive power box and completed his job. As he made his way back to the
stairs, Xander found a trail of scattered clothing. Blue shirt, black pants,
heavy boots. His heart clenched again as he tried to determine what was
different. Something had changed about Spike, and not just the crazy.
He wanted to reach out, but didn’t know exactly how.
He gathered the clothing, neatly folded them, and set them next to the
boots. He paused, suddenly knowing how to reach out to the vampire who had
secretly become a little more than a friend to him. It wasn’t hard to find a
piece of paper and pencil in the debris. Xander wrote out his message and left
in on the pile. Some unmeasured time later,
Spike found his clothes. “Must put my things away. Wardrobe inspection’s in
an hour. Won’t get pudding if the place is a mess.” He muttered. He reached
for the shirt and froze at the unexpected crackle of paper. Slowly, as if
disarming a trap, Spike drew out the paper and unfolded it. He saw the familiar
handwriting and giggled. “Note from the head boy.” “Spike - I know we’ve never
been the bestest of buds, but I want to do what I can for you. Just know this;
when you get better, I’ll let you in, and you won’t hurt me. – Xander” Spike laid the paper out on the floor in front of him, reading it over and over. He kept his eyes on it as if he were afraid it would evaporate. He pulled the shirt over his head as quickly as he could, then reached out to touch the paper to make sure it hadn’t vanished in the seconds his eyes were off it. He finished getting dressed and picked up the paper again. “I won’t hurt him…” Spike muttered as he walked aimlessly down the hallways, reading the paper over and over.
Thanks for the beta and ideas, Donovan. On to (Track 9) Sadness Forget You or side-rack to the AU Drabble |
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