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Vampires, Sex and Relationships (With a focus on Spike)
work in progress
Vampires have no morals. Okay, maybe Spike has a few these days and we know Angel does, but as a rule, they do not. So what is to stop a vampire from having any fun it wants? Nothing.
Imagine you are a vampire. You can charm or force anyone into anything. It is damn hard to kill you. You cannot die of disease. You don't have to worry about making anyone pregnant. (Angel does not count.) You have the stamina and power to do it all you want. Why the heck wouldn't you? If you live long enough in this state, you are bound to get bored with the mundane and try the kinky. Perhaps even the sick and twisted.
It is also apparent in the Buffyverse that vampires get off on pain. Why not when the line between pleasure and pain is so fine? And, being a vampire, you can rapidly heal from almost anything.
I do not see why most vampires would have any homophobia of any kind. In my opinion, Spike has been with men, women, and things of all kinds. He just prefers women.
Relationships
I do not hold any one particular relationship as the perfect one for Spike. The vamp is so ruled by impulse and whimsy anyone at anytime could attract his attention. I do not see that he would hesitate to have relations with anyone in the Buffy or Angel universe if circumstances presented themselves. Spike in the Buffy years is pretty much a hedonist after whatever pleasure he an get.
In my story 148th Day I have explored the perfect circumstances for a happy Buffy/Spike relationship. Even with all that, I do not see it lasting more than a year or two. (By the way, I don't think Buffy belongs with Angel, either.)
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